Case Study
I have been best friends with a girl for over two-years. We hang out together and besides being good company, but she’s the only one I feel comfortable opening up to. She understands me and accepts me as I am. She’s good looking and sweet. Well, I’m trying to justify why I can’t help desiring to have a sexual affair with her. This problem of mine is getting difficult to deal with every time I meet her. Yet, I fear that I will lose her friendship. Should I risk it?
You know as much as I do that it is very difficult to find true friends nowadays. If she has turned out to be a wonderful, long-lasting friend, a short lived sexual relationship could easily ruin everything. I believe it’s always possible to draw the line between sexual intimacy and an intimate friendship. The truth is, most people know deep down, from the very first encounters, if a platonic friendship is as far as they want it to go. If your best friend happens to be a woman you find attractive, it will be harder for you to see her only as a friend for there are sexual feelings involved. You can’t have the cake and eat it!
If you consider taking friendship a step further and try building a more serious relationship with her, you are also risking. But life without weighed risks becomes stagnated and boring. Maybe things will turn out fine. Maybe not. But who knows? See whether you are ready to commit to each other. Speak openly about the consequences of your choices and discuss together whether you are both ready to take the risk. If it you both go for it, you will gain both a special friend and an amazing partner. If it does not work out, you might both lose a special friend. This will happen only if you end the relationship with bitterness. You can always agree that both of you have tried and realized that it did not work out so better be friends again than losing everything you have built. This can only succeed if both of you are able to see each other as friends and nothing more. If one of you still has feelings for each other, it will be very hard to get back the same friendship you had as one of you will definitely get hurt.
It is amazingly wonderful to have a person of the opposite sex as your best friend. Men will learn more about the female psyche, about their feelings, perceptions and thoughts. Equally, male friends can give women the kind of insight that another woman simply can’t. Both can learn a lot from each other and help each other grow both personally and socially. So what I suggest is to be honest with yourself and check out what you really want. Act without hurting yourself and others. Feel free to share your experiences. Take care. God bless.
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