There is vitality, a life force, energy, a quickening, that is translated only through you and into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. - Martha Graham
One of the worst emotional disturbances is when you feel neglected, especially by those who are meant to give you affection, appreciation, respect and support. Your self-esteem will automatically deteriorate until you’ll end up feeling like a pitiful useless wreck. Check out the true reason behind this negative behaviour. Remember that neglect is another form of abuse so never tolerate it.
If you made your needs clear to your partner yet remain unfulfilled, then you have the right to feel sad, frustrated or resentful. We enter an intimate relationship in order to get certain needs met. When these needs are intentionally or unintentionally ignored, it causes the person whose needs aren’t being met to feel angry, offended, ashamed, demeaned, and unsafe in the relationship. This is a terrible position to be in. Do something about it. You have the right to be happy and to feel fulfilled like everybody else.
Do not try to solve it by engaging into an affair. You will only be escaping the situation and inviting more complications knocking at your door. Infidelity is just another illusion of happiness. Talk to your partner and be assertive. Show him/her your rights. Yet, if your partner refuses to listen, suggest you do counseling. If s/he resists professional help, and is still giving you the cold shoulder, then it is time to turn over a new page. Think of your life as a good book. Sometimes there are twists and turns you didn't see coming, but when you start tackling the issues one by one, you will start to realize that no obstacle is unbeatable. You can only feel beaten down the moment you accept to be mistreated. Life is yours. Don’t give it to those who are not worth it.
Remember, when you enter an intimate relationship, you are taking all of your most important and difficult psychological issues with you. Your partner is doing the same thing. From time to time, this differing set of needs and expectations is bound to cause some friction in the relationship. This means that sometimes needs will be ignored, both intentionally and unintentionally. Conflicts in such cases are normal and healthy if processed well. Yet, as I have written above, if your needs are continuously unmet, then it is crucial that you do something about it! If you realize that you have married the wrong person, tell yourself:
I have made some poor choices, but I am not going to let them stop me from enjoying life. I will keep trying until I get it right! I don't care if it takes all of my life! Isn't that what we are here for… to learn and to grow?! If you do not love and respect yourself, no one will. Take care. God Bless. Feel free to share your experiences.
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